Today was a little hectic… Medicaid Regenerating??? Malfunction in the system.  

It’s hard to explain to your friends when your trying to cope with opsticals around you in your day to day life. It gets really hard when they are there when you come across the opsticals and are hit with overwhelming emotions and waves of internal anxiety and agony. Today was one of those days for me.. after awaking calling my pharmacy and finding out that medicaid which just approved me after I had to resign from my job because there was no work, after 3 years of working for the community health center I now turned to medicaid which I have had before right after my divorce before I qualified for ACA with the organization. Well to make a long story short the pharmacy said Medicaid has me having two other health care plans primary before them one from 2006 and another from 2013 both of these I dont have anymore and they had proof of it back in 2014 but appenently as medicaid puts it there system regenerates them anyways. So the nice man asked me from medicaid would I like him to email the State Of Alaska about this or walk in to the assistance office and wait to talk to someone because that is the only way to get anything done with them these days. He said even if they take it off the system usally will regenerate it back into the system within 2 hours and it could be a problem again. I said sure email the state and I will also go in when there not so busy on a Friday. I told him see im a person who is dependent apon daily medicine and have already waited for the medicaid process for so long my perscriptions are running so low and need to be refilled but are highly pricy and now after bringing in everything to medicaid there’s more something that will just keep regenerating in there system causing delays for me with my BIPOLAR MEDICATIONS how is this even a possibility. In all the times I have carried private insurance I have paid not only my coverage but forked out the 2000 deductible and then 5000 out of pocket yeah nice right. Well this year I hit my 2000 deductable then had to resign 7 days later my insurance was cut and I was offered Cobra for almost 900 a month when I was only making a bit over 13 an hour not even full time. This has been my life since I got sucked in to this so many many moons ago. Want to be stable well thats going to cost half your income hope you can survive well now its affecting so much more, makes me want to cry……. I mean my unemployment just started if I do find a job with benifits that will take 3 months maybe more to qualify for what a new deductable I cant afford. What on earth is going on how are people like me who the USA HEALTHCARE INDUSTRY Diagnosed Us to be supposed to be I mean really.   I remember when I was 20 and my parents had to help me because literally my medical cost me more than all my living expenses, between the psychiatrist doctor therapist and medicine but thank goodness Serquil manufactures gave me my perscriptions for free because I could not afford the extra 900 a month for that too. Now I fill like I am sitting at that same door just its a little clearer then it all was before. By the way, I had to stop serqiul about 5-6 years ago due to it messing with my plututary gland and who knows what more. It’s scary to change meds though when you have kids but after that it was a must but I wonder now what the future will hold financial and health wise for me. 

This was not all the hectic I went through today but you can see how hard it would be to explain to somebody even friends how frustrating and the feelings when you have to talk to pharmacist and medicaid about medications you take daily and how delays in the systems and problems in the system can cause for people like me expecially when I have been maintaining for so long with out needing the need. Why the added stress I will never know. 



  1. That’s awful. Please do write to your loyal lawmakers about this. They need to know how these crazy changes are affecting their constituents! And please write letters to the editor in your local paper. Volunteer to talk on the radio, if you can manage it! Personal stories really do help lawmakers and constituents understand what they normally can’t even imagine (things like having to make a choice between paying the rent vs buying your medicine). If you need help, I volunteer by providing free proofreading and editorial services to people who want to write letters or articles and need help polishing things up. Just ask.


    • Thank you for what you do thats amazing there are people out there like you, Its hard for me after all these years living with bipolar and not only that what the medical system has put me through for various things. Its hard to go back and think now why and how it all has affected me. Just last night I could not sleep remembering how the health care industries have invaded just about all of me. To think that I’m only almost 20 years of this life long sentence that really our world is just skimming the surface of and then leaning some psychology. Im drawn to Henry Murray and wonder could we have answers in our past that are not being completely looked at. Although I am no expect excepts for experience how much i understand triggers and tensions and how his work and life shows a lot on how our mental health systems I have seen and worked for taken my Kids’s to and still I wonder something is missing, how I have to conform to this society that is so not healthy, i live in a small community having kids makes it scary excpecially when it can be used against me to take them away from me. This goes way beyond medicaid its the whole Structuring that I see that is deteriorating the state and now seeing how my mind is loosing what it used to be. I research so many studies and wonder what this future not only hold for me but for so many more. I look back now and feel abused by the health care industry using me as a test subject for so many years, its scary will I be all there to remember my kids in another 20 years those are fears. Hospitals community health centers are taking advantage of medicaid I believe and these doctors here are moving to a holoistic approch. Working in the schools we say scarlet fever this year so many bacteria infections with no answers multiple trips to a doctor before they give antibiotics when they are so needed kids out of school for weeks and so many bills parents are trying to pay. Because of upgraded systems with the hospital people like me have been paying payment plans then all the sudden get another bill but the systems don’t work together so now you have to pay on two for the same place or cornerstone (collection agency) they end up sending you to. I have been patient with the system for 20 years started because my parents took me in. The problem here is when your dealing with mental disorders you need years of records and doctors who have seen you, community health centers with behavior health is the only place in areas little like mine that the community can go to because of medicaid stipulations on how a doctor must be in the clinic 60% of the time so for me my talk therapy which is so important I believe can not be covered for so many. Community health centers high turn around and lack of consistency or even taking responsibility in my option is hurting our community. I worked with SED children and my heart broke for the care they were receiving, somethings not right with the system im seeing and the more I research about it even though its highly confusing for me, at least to me looks to me to be a huge money and corrupt industry. Treating the employees, patients and the community with little regard. If you complain you become the target and I can not be there with my family. My story is long and what I have seen now through everything trying to decide what to do next is snagging my line. Alaska needs its high medicaid because we have so many rural villages not to mention our sun changes and struggles of living in a land that is pricy to live in. Right now so many men are depressed from being out of the oilfield for almost 4 years now yet what does our state have to help them with this not so much. Family’s live like military family’s, for me when I was married my husband was never home yet through the years I helped him build his career and still my divorce was a war. I dont see how legislation or the press could possible help at this point bipolar is a constant process of thinking how will I react how can I lesson this what would be best and what is my next move. For everyone out their taking lithium im scared what our future generations minds will be capable of when there trying new drugs more expensive after reading it causes cognitive and functional detention. Why is society not digging deeper in our past but I am just starting to really be able to dig deeper. These are my issues with the politics of everything. If you have any advice please feel free to share it with me, this is all new to me even wordpress is confusing.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’ve really nailed a lot of hot topics here. I love the expression, “snagging my line.” My line is totally snagged at the moment, so I can relate. I think you have hit on the real source of worry for a young person (or an old person) struggling with this disease: what will I be like in another 20 years? What will become of me? What will become of my children? Bad enough to have a chronic illness that attacks the body; having an illness that erodes the mind is terrifying.

        I did best when I was living a religious life in a supportive community. I know that’s what works best, but when my parents started having trouble I left my community to help them. I won’t call it a mistake, because I’m very glad I got to be with my dad in the years before his passing, but now I’m feeling the loss of that stability that kept me oriented. Now that community has changed, and I wasn’t there during the changes, so I no longer fit in. No more parents, kid is grown.

        If it’s possible to find a few like-minded others, either in person or online, I think that’s a great way to stay rooted in the present. We have no idea what the future will bring. All we can do is to do the best we can, with the resources we have. It helps to have support from others, and your blog is a step in that direction!


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